420 ftw
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
