Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize