This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i dont even know how to be here
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
