Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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