Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Randomize
