You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
