White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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