I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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