did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
