I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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