aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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