Im at strip club and am horny
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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