I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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