It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
