The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
