I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
