Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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