How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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