you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
