where am i from again
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
