Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
