Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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