flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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