Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
