I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
