Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
