The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
