We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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