so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you still have your period?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
