I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
