i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
