I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
