Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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