i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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