have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
