You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
