Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
