what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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