I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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