The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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