Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am one with the molecules
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
