ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize