Cold hands, warm shart.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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