He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
