i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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