haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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