So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
