I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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