Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
