someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
