Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
