you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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