I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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