Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
