Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
