I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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