were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
