marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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