Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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