i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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