i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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