hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize