we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Everyone says I win the strip club
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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