No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
