Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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