...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
